Almost one-fourth of young adults are searching for love or friendship through dating applications or online chat sites. This novel form of romance might provide you a large pool of possible partners. But it also carries a distinct set of challenges.
For instance, you might have heard about or experienced yourself, planning a date online but it didn’t go well because the other person was looking different than stated on his/her profile or he/she was more talkative compared to texting.
To put the matter in other words, a person’s profile and his/her messages before the actual date might not represent his/her personality truly.
A while ago, my friend Burhan and I were talking about this and we pondered upon online lies. What sort of thing they lie about and what kind of patterns they use?
“My battery died while I was at an art gallery”
Research on this subject focus on dating profiles. According to the research made, men tend to exaggerate their height and lie about their job, while women understate their weight and tend to use less accurate photos.
But according to me and my friend Burhan, profiles are only one section of online dating. Because texting is the part where you decide whether or not it will turn into something real.
To be able to fully comprehend how often people lie to their partners and what do they lie about we looked through thousands of text messages on dating applications.
I believe these lies can be categorized into two types. The first type is self-presentation lies aimed to present a person as more attractive or successful. Lying about how often they go to the gym is an example of this type. Or if the match appears to be interested in literature, they would lie about a book to look like sharing an interest.
The second type is related to availability. This type of lies include excuses for not writing back for a long time. This is a polite way to avoid communication without completely closing the door.
Purposeful or Prevailing lies?
While most of the lies are due to deceptions regarding self-presentation and accessibility, we found that in our study only 7 percent of all messages were deemed fake.
Why is the deception rate so low?
In recent deceit research, a strong finding suggests that most people are honest and that there are only a few active liars among us.
Misleading to seem like a great match or boasting about your location can be normal human behavior. Most users online are expecting this. There’s also a benefit to lying just a bit: it can make us stand out in the dating pool while making us feel like we’ve remained true to who we are.
Yet transparent and omnipresent lies–stating your love of dogs, but being allergic to them–can damage trust. Another interesting result that speaks about the essence of the deception during the discovery stage can be an issue for finding “the one.” Our studies showed a strong correlation between the number of lies told by a participant and the number of lies told by their partner.
If you’re truthful and tell a few lies, you think other people are also truthful. If you’re looking for love but lying to get it, there’s a good chance you’re going to think other people are lying to you as well.
So it’s natural to tell little lies about love, and we do it because it serves a purpose – not only because we can.